ADAM'S ANGUISH

THE CRY OF CLAY
.

If you probe my heart

and examine me at night,

if you test me,

what will you find?

Would it turn out well if God examined me?
Could I deceive Him as I might deceive others?
Would not His splendor terrify me?
Would not the dread of Him fall on me?
No godless man would dare come before Him!

If I conceal my sin as men do,
by hiding my guilt in my heart
because I am so afraid
(so fearing the crowd, so dreading the contempt of the clans
that I keep silent and withdrawn),
then let briers come up instead of wheat
and weeds instead of barley.

If I have been unfaithful, I will be judged.

He brings hidden things to light.

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
You are familiar with all my ways.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your Presence?
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me,"
the darkness will not be dark to You;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

My frame was not hidden from You

when I was made in the secret place.

Now I am hidden in the shadow of Your wings only.

I resolved that I will not sin,
yet my feet slipped.
I call on You, O God,
for You will answer me;
give ear to me and hear my prayer.
Show the wonder of Your great love,
You who save by Your right hand
those who take refuge in You.

Why am I angry?
Why should my face be downcast?
If I do what is right, will I not be accepted?
But if I do not do what is right,
sin is crouching at my door,
it desires to have me, but I must master it.

O LORD, by Your hand
save me from the evil one crouching in cover.
Let me find my rest in You,
so that, in righteousness, when I awake,
I may see your face,
satisfied with seeing your likeness.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me

in the way everlasting.