“Acquaintances become friends when they agree to play status games together.”

I recently post this quote of Keith Johnstone, from his book on IMPRO. When a friend inquired as to what it meant, I offered the following explanation:

Status games are behavioral transactions that take place whenever people come together. Some folk play high, others low; some are quite aware of where they stand, others just don't know. Strangers who meet while walking on the street will begin to size one another up and down, considering what is to be done next - the higher status person will manage to win one's own way, while the lower status one will yield.

Friends find it fun to play around with this. Neither cares which one is high or low; the only thing that matters is that both can continue to go to where they want to get. Like the auld Scottish song, "You take the high road and I'll take the low road - we'll both get to town anyway!"

Jesus was a master status player. He knew how to play low or high, depending on the one with whom he happened to be interacting. The Gospel invites us to join in on His game, playing it like He did. Consider Mary's Magnificent Song in which she declares:"He has done mighty deeds with His arm; He has scattered those who were proud in the thoughts of their heart. He has brought down rulers from their thrones, And has exalted those who were humble."

The hymn in the second chapter of Philippians tells us something similar in yet another way: "He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Leading into that hymn are these wise words: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus .."

I have found this concept of playing status to be very fruitful for teaching theology and theatre. Actor who learn how to play status well become better actors; other people who learn to play status well can become better persons.

My friend than commented: “That all sounds very complicated to me. I am just me and I am just honest and try to love people unconditionally, which sometimes causes me to be hurt but to me that is a price worth paying most of the time. If I am hurt repeatedly then I simply retreat. There are some people who do not like honesty and turn away but to me that is their choice. I have been lied to in my life and that has hurt so I do not do that to others. I think I have grown up to have a simple brain!”

I responded:

Having grown up, you know better now how to be "just" you. You are mature enough to properly value the cost of right relationship - as you yourself posted in your note: to you, "that is a price worth paying most of the time."

Playing status properly, one considers one's own status in the context of the whole relationship with another. One does not strive to be higher or lower than another, merely with the other, letting the situation signal when certain status postures are called for (for example - high status tends to be more still, low status tends to stutter; high status is more open, low status is much more closed; high status may be bold, low status is probably hesitant; etc., etc., etc.).

Future posts will continue to discuss the concept of status, both on stage and off.